It’s no secret that in order to grow, to change, to reach for our goals, that we must rid ourselves of the habits, the routines, the beliefs that are holding us back.  As we move through life, we accumulate habits, beliefs, even relationships that served a purpose at one point but are now burdensome.  Letting go of these things is an act of self love and self growth.  It aligns us with our desired path of growth.  It clears space for something new to grow.  The big question, though, is how?  How do we release what holds us back?

It would be great if there was a one size fits all answer. The complexity of what we are as humans, though, the uniqueness of what has gone into the making of who we are and how we show up in our world requires an equally unique approach. 

While not every suggestion will work for you, I recommend experimenting with the following ideas.  See what resonates with you as you read, be willing to explore something new in your pursuit of growth.

A Growth Mindset:  A failure and disappointment journal

Say what?  How is writing down your negative thoughts helpful in any way?  Won’t that just keep you stuck in those negative looks?  According to Dr. Arthur Brooks, Professor at the Harvard Business School and Harvard Kennedy School, and New York Times Bestselling Author, a negativity journal can be incredibly helpful, if you implement the following steps

1.     Have a journal designated solely for writing down your failures and disappointments.

2.     Keep two blank lines in-between each statement.

3.     Set a calendar reminder 30 days post writing the disappointment or failure.

4.     At the 30 day mark, answer the question “What did I learn about disappointment/failure in the last 30 days?”

5.     Have another alarm set for 6 months out.  At that point, write down the answer to this question: Tell me something good that happened as a result of that?

When we engage in this type of reflection, it serves as a reminder for how we’ve grown.  If we engage in this consistently, it starts to reframe our view of failures and disappointments.   Where it used to be purely negative, now there is anticipation in being able to reflect and recognize the growth that has come out of the negative.  This mindset shift is powerful in maintaining our motivation and focus as we lean into new spaces.

Surround yourself with positivity

The proximity principle says that we tend to form relationships with people who are close by, who are already in our current environment.  The environment we are in, including people and spaces, has a tremendous impact on our mindset and behavior.  Evaluate the environment you are in, the spaces and people you engage with. 

• Are the physical spaces you find yourself in visually pleasant or is it cluttered, dirty, messy? 

• What about the people you most associate with? Are they in the same growth mindset as you?  Are they supportive, encouraging?  Do you have people who are willing to provide necessary critical feedback to you?  What is their approach to life?  If you want to grow into your goals, it is important to connect with others who also have a growth mindset. 

Rituals

Setting goals and intentions should never be a first of the year experience.  If it’s a one and done experience of sitting down and writing out our goals, it’s going to fail.  We haven’t built up the habit yet.  We need to identify routines to keep bringing our focus back to what we’re trying to accomplish.  Incorporating daily systems can be very helpful in building habits.  These systems could look like a daily morning and/or evening routine, a system that you start and end your days with.  Included in this routine could be mindfulness and self reflection.  Set aside time each day to sit in silence, allowing your thoughts to surface without judgment. Reflect on your habits, beliefs, and possessions. Are they contributing to your well-being and happiness, or are they holding you back? By developing mindfulness, you gain clarity on what needs to be released.

Letting go of things that no longer serve you is a transformative and empowering process. It requires self-awareness, intention, and a commitment to personal growth. By practicing mindfulness, creating rituals, cultivating a growth mindset, and surrounding yourself with positivity, you pave the way for a more fulfilling and authentic life. Embrace the freedom that comes with letting go, and watch as new opportunities and experiences unfold on your path to self-discovery.