Self-Care’s Essence
I’ve been out of the office the past two weeks but I can’t say that it was a break. I didn’t spend my days floating in a pool or pampering myself with massages, pedicures and manicures. If anything, my days were even busier, filled with family events, birthday party preparations, house cleaning, garage sales, and the myriad of responsibilities that come along with having a lively, active family life. Anyone reading this might conclude that I should be exhausted. Yes, there were times when I needed to sit and take a minute and times when I had to pause and recognize that I’d pushed too hard. Overall though, I’d say the past two weeks were full of self-care.
What is self-care?
When you think of self-care, what comes to mind? When asked this question, many people think of getting that favorite cup of specialty coffee, the indulgent meal, the expensive vacation, the manicure, the makeover, a night out on the town filled with binge drinking or staying in the entire day binge watching TV. While some of these activities are great (and some are not), they do not hold true to the definition of self-care.
The World Health Organization defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health worker.” In a nutshell, self-care is the personal responsibility we take to live our lives in such a way that positively impacts us and the people in relationship with us and around us. Self-care looks more like the mundane, day in and day out structure we put in our world to maintain our physical, mental, relational, and emotional well-being.
Moving past indulgence
The indulgent activities that we tend to see as self-care share some common details: they are quick, relatively painless to engage in, and are filled with dopamine hits. Because of this, though, their impact tends to be short-lived. Rather than filling us up, we need to rinse and repeat constantly, attempting to hit that same dopamine high. This pattern actually depletes us rather than restores.
True self-care, on the other hand, often involves the slow, steady work of nurturing ourselves in ways that may not deliver immediate gratification but yield long-term benefits. It's the discipline of choosing nourishing foods over convenience, getting enough sleep, setting boundaries, and engaging in regular physical activity. These habits may not always be glamorous or exciting, but they lay the foundation for a life that is balanced and resilient.
True self-care requires introspection and honesty with oneself. It’s about recognizing the areas in our lives that need attention and being willing to address them, even when it's uncomfortable. This could mean seeking therapy, cutting toxic relationships, or facing difficult truths about our habits and behaviors. It’s the daily decision to do what’s best for our overall well-being, rather than what’s easiest in the moment.
For some people, a critical aspect of self-care is the spiritual component. Spiritual self-care involves practices that nourish our soul, connect us with a higher purpose, and provide a sense of peace and grounding. This could take the form of meditation, prayer, spending time in nature, or engaging in religious or spiritual practices that resonate with you. These practices help us cultivate inner calm, enhance our resilience in the face of life's challenges, and foster a deeper connection with ourselves and the world around us.
I certainly didn’t make the healthiest of food choices these past two weeks...I had the most AMAZING sugary, rich, satisfying drink from Meraki Koffie (if you’re ever in Ludington, MI try their Jack Frost specialty drink). I did get enough sleep. I did set boundaries for myself, taking those small breaks when I needed to or saying no to adding on another activity. I had PLENTY of exercise running around with my family. I went to therapy and sat with difficult emotions. I had ample time for reflection, appreciating and feeling grateful for the life I have. I was reminded of the beauty in simple things, the delight in witnessing my children's appreciation for life, and the deep sense of peace that comes from connecting with nature and nurturing my spiritual well-being.
Self-care is vital. The essence of self-care is so much deeper than the indulgent habits we engage in. Self-care is a form of respect. It’s about creating a life that honors your long-term health and satisfaction, even if that means forgoing short-term pleasures.