Brain Waves & Besties: How Your Inner Circle Shapes Your Reality

While our words have an astounding impact on our brain, the people we surround ourselves with impact us greatly.  If you type in a google search on the impact of our relationships, you’ll pull up numerous references, with people like Arthur Brooks, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, and numerous others emphasizing the significance of the relationships you immerse yourself in. 

Choosing Your Walking Companions

Our journey through life is intricately woven with the people we choose to walk it with. The impact of our social circle on our thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being cannot be overstated. It's like having a backstage pass to the concert of your life – you want the right people in the VIP section.

The Dance of Influence: Mirror Neurons and Social Harmony

The idea that our brains sync up with those we spend time with is fascinating. It's like a silent dance of influence happening beneath the surface. The discovery of mirror neurons, a brain cell that is activated not only when you are performing an action, but also when you are observing another person perform that same action, led to theorizing that these mirror neurons played a significant role in empathy, social skills and theory of mind.  While this theorization of mirror neurons has been debated, there is evidence that when two people are in each other’s company, their brain waves will begin to sync together, and look nearly identical.  Moran Cerf, a neuroscientist and professor, says the following:

“the more we study engagement, we see time and time again that being next to certain people actually aligns your brains with them. This means the people you hang out with actually have an impact on your engagement with reality beyond what you can explain.  And one of the effects is you become alike.”

(A Neuroscientist Who Studies Decision-Making Reveals the Most Important Choice You Can Make, 2017)

Neural Networking: Insight into Social Connection

Donald Hebb, a Canadian neuropsychologist, coined the phrase “neurons that fire together wire together.”  We can extend this even further to recognize the social dimension that is connected to this phrase.  The people you associate with reinforce the neuronal connections that fire and wire together. Our connections reinforce the mental pathways we traverse, forming a neural network that's influenced by the collective energy of our social network. 

The Echo Chamber Effect: Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias, the brain's natural tendency to seek evidence that aligns with our beliefs, finds its echo in the people we surround ourselves with. The company we keep becomes a sounding board for our thoughts, an echo chamber that either reinforces negativity or amplifies positivity. When we are working to reduce our negative thoughts, to decrease the strength of these neuronal networks, the people we connect with will have a significant impact on our ability to change and train our brain.  

Beware the Negative Squad

Let's talk about the negative squad – the blamers, the victims, the ventors. Hanging out with them is like having a constant downpour on your mental parade. Their engagement styles activate the very neurons we're trying to evict. Negative people don't just share their thoughts; they light up the neuronal networks inside of you, making it all the more difficult to reduce your own negative thought patterns.  Negative people confirm the validity of negative neuronal network patterns.

External Audit: Choose Your Team Wisely

So, while the power of changing our thoughts is profound, it's equally crucial to recognize the external factors at play. Your mental gym is not a solo workout; it's a team sport. Evaluate the players in your life – are they cheering you on or throwing hurdles in your path?

In essence, it's not just about internal transformation; it's about an external audit of the relationships we cherish. It's about recognizing that the people in our lives contribute not just to our daily conversations but to the very architecture of our minds. Choose your co-architects wisely.