A Life of Fear: When Nowhere is Safe

Last week, I discussed the idea of “little trauma, big trauma” and identified how little traumas are the series of experiences that occur in life that are so often normalized, they’re often overlooked or dismissed as traumatic.  In today’s article, we’ll be exploring Developmental Trauma, the trauma experiences that often unknowingly haunts adults.

Developmental Trauma (DT) refers to complex and pervasive exposure to life-threatening events that occur during critical periods of infant and child development.  DT is theorized to develop from interpersonal trauma, including disruptions in attachment bonding with primary caregivers.  DT is most likely to occur when there are attachment disruptions taking place with children living in an emotionally abusive or physically violent environment. With DT, there is repeated exposure to trauma during childhood. DT was proposed back in 2009 to be included in the 2012 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual to address the unique symptomology observed in children who were experiencing persistent, chronic exposure to trauma.

The ongoing impact of DT throughout childhood and into adulthood is emotional or somatic dysregulation, attention or behavior dysregulation, and relational or self dysregulation.

A Child’s View of Trauma

It is important that we do not place our adult definition of life-threatening on a child’s experience and view of what is considered life-threatening.  To a child, the lack of presence and attunement from caregivers is life threatening.  Studies have shown that without an attuned presence, infants experience significant distress, resulting in changes to their very physiology.  An infant is completely helpless, totally dependent on their caregiver for all their needs.  Any disruption to that care is a threat to a child’s survival. 

What is Considered Trauma to a Child?

• Traumatic birth

• Adoption

• A caregiver’s persistent lack of responsiveness to their cries for comfort

• Having a parent with a mental illness

• Substance abuse issues in the home

• Divorce

• Parental abandonment

• Witnessing Domestic Violence

• A lack of love and closeness in the family

• Direct verbal, physical or emotional abuse

• Sexual Abuse

Emotional and Verbal Abuse

Emotional and verbal abuse can be subtle, hard to substantiate in the public eye, making it easy to dismiss or ignore.  Oftentimes, emotional abuse involves not what happened, but what DIDN’T happen. It’s what wasn’t there for the child.   Emotional abuse during key developmental years has a long-lasting impact, with studies citing connection to adult insecure attachment, dissociation, hopelessness, substance abuse, psychosis and borderline personality disorder. Messages like “suck it up,” “don’t be a baby,” “I’ll give you something to cry about,” all of these are messages that a child’s emotions do not only matter, but are wrong.  The resulting experience is often internalized shame and rejection. 

The Struggle with Emotion Regulation

One significant consequence of DT is its impact on emotional regulation. Children who experience DT often struggle to regulate their emotions effectively. Sadness, depression, anger, irritability, heightened energy, emotional crashing (feeling numb, flat, disconnected): all of these can be experienced, often in combination and with great unpredictability, as the child’s nervous system attempts over and over to release and/or protect from the stuck energy of traumatic experiences. An unfortunate result of this is further alienation from their peers, leading to increased isolation and messages of rejection.  This difficulty can persist into adulthood, leading to mood swings, emotional instability, and heightened reactivity to stressors. Where this becomes particularly problematic is in relationships.  The strategies developed to maintain safety during childhood often do not translate well into adult relationships, often becoming a source of conflict in relationships, both personal and professional. 

Cognitive and Behavioral Development

DT can disrupt cognitive and behavioral development. It’s almost impossible to effectively engage in learning and social skills development when your body is constantly watching and preparing for danger.  A hyper-aroused or hypo-aroused nervous system is not open to learning. This leads to difficulty with concentration, learning, and forming healthy coping mechanisms. To add injury to an already wounded child, there often is no recognition of a child’s trauma that is directly impacting their learning. Rather than taking time to understand the trauma, the child is viewed as not smart, not capable, not able to succeed.  Again, internalized shame and rejection.  Those challenges continue into adulthood, affecting academic and professional achievement, as well as overall life satisfaction.

Relationship Issues and Self-Perception

Relationship dynamics and self-perception are impacted as a result of DT. Children who experience attachment disruptions and emotional abuse may develop insecure attachment styles and struggle with forming secure, trusting relationships later in life. This can contribute to difficulties in establishing intimacy, maintaining boundaries, and navigating conflicts within relationships.  It becomes a vicious cycle of struggle with low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and a pervasive sense of emptiness or disconnection from others. It is hard to engage in healthy relationship skills when the precedent has already been set that relationships are inherently unsafe. 

Intergenerational Impact

The impact of DT extends beyond individual suffering; there are intergenerational cycles of trauma. Adults who have experienced DT may unintentionally pass on their unresolved trauma to their own children through maladaptive parenting practices, continuing a cycle of dysfunction and trauma within families.

Recognizing and addressing DT is crucial for promoting healing and resilience. Therapy and other trauma-informed interventions are highly encouraged to provide support and resources.  With trauma that occurs in relationships, healing also occurs within relationships.  Meeting with a trauma therapist is a good step towards establishing a healing relationship.

References

Frias, A., Palma, C., Farriols, N., Gonzalez, L., & Horta, A. (2016). Anxious adult attachment may mediate the relationship between childhood emotional abuse and borderline personality disorder. Personal Ment Health, 10(4), 274–284. 10.1002/pmh.1348 

Kong, S. S., Kang, D. R., Oh, M. J., & Kim, N. H. (2018). Attachment insecurity as a mediator of the relationship between childhood trauma and adult dissociation. Journal of Trauma and Dissociation, 19(2), 214–231. 10.1080/15299732.2017.1329772

Spinazzola, J., van der Kolk, B., & Ford, J. D. (2018). When nowhere is safe: Trauma history antecedents of posttraumatic stress disorder and developmental trauma disorder in childhood Journal of Traumatic Stress, 31(5), 631–642. 10.1002/jts.22320