Overwhelmed? Navigate a Crisis With These 4 Strategies
This year has been full of crises: individual crisis and collective crises as a city, state, nation, and world. I hear the now familiar refrain: “I just want life to go back to being normal.”
Living through a pandemic is challenging. When the initial shutdowns and precautions were taken, it was easier to see the necessity of living life differently, as challenging as that was. But time has continued, and restrictions have stretched on. COVID-19 has stretched on. Crises of politics, injustice, racism, and conflict have been added on. Life has an unwelcome element of a seemingly never-ending loop of exhaustion, uncertainty, and distress.
When dealing with a crisis, it is helpful to recognize when you have hit your emotional max. Noticing what is inside of you, what is getting triggered or heightened is so important. Listed below are some of the common signs of emotional overload.
Fatigue. You feel exhausted all the time. Not just sleepy tired, but deep down exhausted, numb; emotional and mental overload. It is harder to find motivation, to stay engaged in life.
Irritability and Impatience. You feel a bit touchier about a variety of life events: driving, shoppers, relationships, parenting, appointments. You might find yourself just a bit quicker to jump to negative conclusions or to react stronger than normal.
Restlessness. While you might be experiencing fatigue, there is also a sense of restlessness, the urge to do something, to move. Nothing seems quite right though, and the restlessness continues. You are tired but sitting down does not feel right. You get up but are aimless and there is nowhere to go.
Sadness. Life is a bit gloomier. You feel more tearful than normal. You find yourself staring off into space, feeling blank, empty, heavy inside.
Retreat. Even though you miss the people and places you are no longer around, you also find yourself retreating, isolating into your own self. You feel a bit more distant, more detached from life around you.
Eating changes. You notice that you have been eating more than normal, snacking just a bit more. On the other hand, you might notice that food appealing. You must remind yourself to eat.
When thinking about COVID-19, many of the above emotions are also tied to grief and fear. The world has changed. How we show up in our world has changed. We grieve for what used to be. The stability, the rhythm of our daily lives has been interrupted. Our sense of balance in the world has been dramatically altered.
The fear that accompanies all these changes is abundant. How is this sustainable? How will we survive? How and when will life move forward?
There are no easy answers. We are forced to keep waiting and carrying on at the same time. There is so much outside of our control, as is typical in a crisis. Here, though, are some skills to help restore balance inside yourself and shift towards a regulated nervous system response.
SELF-AWARENESS
Take the time to notice what your body feel. Tune in to the physical sensations, noticing if they change, shift, move, grow larger or smaller.
Muscle tension – where do you feel that? Is there pressure in your chest or heaviness in your body? Is there tightness in your throat?
Posture – are you collapsed, rigid?
Physical extremities: are your hands clenched, in fists? Are you constantly moving your legs? – are they just tight, in fists?
Stomach – tightening in gut, clenching, rolling, nauseous?
Notice if there are any attached emotions to those physical sensations. Do the emotions change? Do they get stronger or weaker? If you only notice emotions, ask yourself where your body feels those emotions. Connect it to the physical sensation
SELF-ACCEPTANCE
When noticing what you feel emotionally and physically, accept what is inside of you WITHOUT judgment or stories. If you are noticing anger, accept that feeling is present. Notice where you feel anger in your body. Try to not assign meaning to what you feel or attach a story to the feeling of anger. Acknowledge and accept the presence of anger in your body. See if the emotions or physical sensations move or change as you continue to notice and accept.
FINDING GLIMMERS
Deb Dana, a clinician and consultant who specializes in working with complex trauma, uses the term “glimmers” to define the small positive micro-moments that appear in our everyday life. These moments increase our ventral vagal experience (the safe and connected part of our autonomic nervous system), but often go unnoticed, especially when we are in a crisis.
Take the time to notice the little glimmers in your world. Notice when you feel a small spark of positive energy. Understand that while it might be small and fleeting, it was there. You can also use these prompts to help you identify the glimmers in your world:
Today I am hopeful for….
Today I am grateful for….
Consider keeping a notebook of your daily glimmers. As your write these glimmers down, notice the themes that show up in your pockets of hope and gratefulness.
Find your anchors
Write a list that answers these four questions:
Who in your life do you welcomed by, safe around, or have a sense of connection? This could a person or even an animal. They could be currently alive or deceased, people you have never met but look up to as role models.
What are the small things or actions that make you feel connected, renewed, restored? No matter how small or large that action or thing is, write it down. Some of my personal examples of this would be the smell of coffee in the morning, the smell of fresh-cut grass, the sound of water, a walk in the woods, the sun on my face, the smell of crisp fall air, a campfire, the laughter of my children, satisfaction from a completed task, bike rides with my family, connecting with a friend.
Where in your world do you feel most grounded or safe? Where in your home, your work, your community do you experience an internal sensation of calm, peace, connectedness?
When do you feel most grounded and safe? Notice if their certain times of the day that you experience differently than others.
Keep this list available. Remind yourself frequently of the small actions you can take to increase a sense of safety and connection inside your body, your nervous system. Remember that these small actions, connected over time, with consistency, help stabilize your internal experience of the world.
SURVIVE/MAINTAIN
Just because you can handle more does not mean now is the right time to do more. During a crisis, it is important to give your body space for healing and renewal. Taking the time to just maintain does not mean failure. It is a smart move. Recognize that stillness, rest, and recovery is a different type of movement. It is not stagnant. It is shifting towards positive inner energy and creating renewed flexibility within your nervous system. It is a valuable and vital component to your well-being.
Whatever crisis you find yourself in, the only space that is firmly within your grasp is your ability to engage with what shows up inside of you. Hippocrates said that “the natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well.” While our body is naturally wired to look for danger (to keep us safe), we can start training our body to stop, notice, and appreciate what is good inside and around us. This internal noticing and accepting has great impact on how you show up in your world.
When we are facing chronic stressors, we can reach a point where even the smallest noticing feels too much, too overwhelming, too exhausting. If you find yourself in this space, consider meeting with a therapist who can help co-regulate your nervous system, establish a sense of safety, and then begin the work of shifting towards a flexible nervous system that can tolerate the stressors of a complex world.